Recurring Memories
by Ghost of Mater
Summary: The Black Order "finds" a dying Noah and decides to transplant him to another body. A body of an orphan little boy. He has known nothing of happiness. He is taken up by the Black Order as an human soldier. He have faint flashes of memories...but not his memories...
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 **A/N:** I hope you enjoy. It's still a works in progress and I don't know how long each chapter will take, so my uploads will be sporadic. I hope it does well, haha. Sorry for it being so short and some mistakes. I wrote this mostly on my phone. Haha. Again, enjoy~

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As I continued through the battlefield, I see litters of bodies that plagued the floors of people from both sides. My heart drops as I see children younger than I that have fallen, but I quickly erase that thought from my mind and continue to void myself of such emotions. Emotions only cause you to be blinded and killed in such a battles. I tighten my grip on the blade as I trekked silently through the blood soaked ground. I was also covered in such blood, but none of mine. My duties is to clean up any survivor from both sides and assassinate the commander of the opposing group. I spot a solider from our side of the attack and quietly walked to him. It seems he hidden himself while the others fought for their lives. It sickens me to no extent that he would hide in such cowardly manner while watching his fellow comrades go down one by one...but I'm also like him in a way. I coward away from taking my own life as I take others away...

He quickly got up and jogged towards me as he sees my uniform in relief. I hinted no emotions on my face as he continued his way. "Thank god you're here. I thought I'll never get out of here. Are you here to issue a retreat?" I grabbed his face tightly as I slammed his body on the ground. My foot stomped on his stomach to hold him in place, which caused a muffled scream in my hand. I leaned in as I whispered in his ears. "You should have just died in the battle. Now you get to suffer a horrible ending by my hands." I slit his throat with a blade I kept hidden in my sleeve as his blood splattered all over me. I continued to listen to his gasping breath as he drowned in his own blood until he stilled. I released him as I wiped the blood off my face and stared at my hand. My head pulsed in pain as I grasp my head. I heard a whisper in my head. 'Brother... Run!' I saw a image of a bloodied hand as if they were mine, but it was much darker. I heard footsteps quietly behind me and launched my blade in that direction. But it was caught easily.

"Watch it, moyashi. You're going to poke someone's fucking eyes out". Kanda's voice broke through of my panic attack and I quickly settled down to my emotionless state. Such emotions can be used as weakness. Even to a comrade. Because some day, that very comrade might be the who be in charge of eliminating you. I tsked at him in annoyance.

"Says the one sneaking around like a troll, bakanda". He glared at me but I continued to stare back in challenge. The tension between us settled little by little. Its good to have someone in common with you. Who endured the same painful treatment, witnessed the same people being carted away under a blood stained sheet, and being under same command of our tormentors. I sighed in exasperation as to signal the end of our little bicker and go back to business.

"I've taken care of the remainders on our side. You got theirs?" He nodded in confirmation. This is usually our job as the Black Order's human soldiers: put an ending to wars, assassinations, investigating, and sometime as "toys". Most of soldiers are orphans, meaning disposable. Many don't make it through the experiments and the training regimen. Only the lucky ones who survived the years of mental and physical scarring get to act as the church's " dogs" for their beck and call. To control us, stigmas are engraved deeply on our body to force us into submission. If we fail, we are either punished or executed on spot by the stigma. It contains ancient dark magic that slowly corrodes parts of your body. At this very thought, I clenched my left hand as I felt painful ache that has dulled over time.

Kanda took out a golem and contacted HQ and informed our superior. Our superior, Leverrier. It was him who took me out of the orphanage. It was him who caused ordered the experimentations. It was him who caused my left eye to be blind. It was him who sent the lives of children to death for his desire for perfect soldiers. It was him who gave us our curses. It was him who ordered for us to endure such torture. It was him...whom I hate the most. But he is also whom I must obey. I don't even remember much of my childhood. For me, all my memories are all jumbled up. I have shreds of memories which I do not recall. And shreds of memories which I wish I could forget. I shivered and felt a hand on my shoulder.

I quickly turned around with my gun aimed at his face. Kanda showed no amusement at this stunt. He tsked at me which annoyed me to no ends. "Stop fooling around and daydreaming. They're calling us back." Back...that sounds good. I was tired of being around the death that's littered around us. But I wish I could rest. Everytime I close my eyes, the same nightmare haunts me constantly...


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Finally finished another chapter. I'm currently working on chapter 3 already, but I'm kind of stuck on parts on how to say it. Le sigh, I wish I had someone to read it and suggest how to put my idea into words. Sometime the way I say it, it doesn't sound grammatically correct. Anyway, if you enjoyed I hope you review it and let me know your thought about it. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and followed. I'm so grateful to you all for giving this story a chance.

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As we entered the headquarter of the Black Order, we received glares of disgust and pity. It wasn't unusual for such looks when someone comes back covered in blood. But we were given such looks because of who we are. The soldiers who under Leverrier. The church's ''dogs''. We weren't the most loved people in this place. We payed no heed to their scrutiny and continued our ways toward the great hall leading to our superior's office. Walking around wasn't a challenge. I knew this place from the back of my head. Since I was young, I lost the sight of one of my eyes as a result of the experimentation when I was brought up. These experiments did more harm then good. My white hair signals the omen of a cursed child caused by whatever they did to me back then. All I remember was pain and screamings. Back then, I wasn't the only one who was in the room. Many other child my age was also subjected to such a thing. Some may live, and many will die.

I shook away these dreaded memories as we came up to a large door leading to the one who caused us so much pain. Kanda knocked on the door and we heard someone to call us in. As we went in, we automatically kneeled down in front of the desk. Where is our pride you ask? In this place, it's better to throw away such thing than be sentenced to death. Such imaginary things which most people value has no value within these walls. In the beginning, we were ''taught'' of what the Black Order thought of such things. We were broken down, striped of whatever we had left and trained to only obey. We were tired...what else could we have done. We were children. All he had to do was say the words and we would of been slaughtered on the spot. We have to continue, until something breaks. Either our body, or our minds. Many have succumbed to such insanity.

"Who told you could come in here in such disgusting attire?," he yelled. We said nothing and continued to have our head down. Leverrier got up from where he sat and went up to us. He grabbed my chin and looked me in the eyes. "Look at me when someone is talking to you, you filthy child." He forcefully pushed me away before going to Kanda. I remained where I was, showing no reaction on my face. Showing him such emotion only encourages him to continue. It was best to just take whatever he's giving you and move on.

"And what is your excuse, you fucking idiot?" Kanda glared at him but showed no signs of talking back. He himself experienced the consequences of provoking Leverrier. But the glare itself seem to set him off. His face got red as he punched Kanda in the cheek. Kanda just took it and didn't budge from where he stood. "Wipe that fucking glare off your damn face..." Leverrier went back to his chair before huffing his last anger out. "State your report or the fuck out of my office, mutts!" I felt the anger emanating from Kanda as I heard the grip of his hand fisting into a ball.

"Sir, we have eliminated the remainders in the battlefield and successfully assassinated the commander of the opposing group." Leverrier had a sneer as he face towards me. I saw a faint image of something thrown at me. I felt a heavy pressure on my head as the object collided and shattered. Something warm trickling down my head and wetting the bandage that covered my eyes. I didn't bother to check or even react. I stood there unfazed.

"And you filthy child, who told you to speak...You will only speak when I allow it. Do you understand!?" I simply nodded. "Now get out of my office or I'll call the crows..." Crows... Leverrier's personal body guards. They're the one who inflicts the punishment using our stigmas with their magic. Usually the identity is unknown since their face is covered with a mask. They hide either in the shadow or near Leverrier for his beck and call. The difference between us human soldiers and the crows is that they have their freedom. They are paid to do this. For us, this is our livelihood. We do this to survive. To see the next day. For them, it's for the greed.

As we walked out, there they were, standing near the door...the crows. All I feel from them was hostility. I didn't even bother looking over to them and give them a reason to provoke a fight with us. We continued to walk back to our dorms. Kanda and my room were close together as we were one of the longest surviving soldiers. It was a small room that fits a bed, a trunk for our clothes, and a small table and a chair all crammed together. The walls and floor were made out if a cold hard stone that made it feel more like a prison cell than a room. I changed out of my blood soaked uniform into a cleaner one. We practically lived in these and we will die in these. I changed the bandage around my eyes and felt around for the wound inflicted on me. The blood seem to have clotted already and started the healing process. I guess one of the benefit of being a genetically human soldiers. You get to heal a little faster than a normal human. They made us like this so that they could send us back out as soon as possible.

I sat on my bed and leaned against the wall. I was really tired. Being out for a week with barely any sleep drains a lot of you. My eyes slowly fluttered close as I try to resist the sleep as much as I could. But ultimately failing...

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 _I was running in the woods. With me was another person. But as I look at the person, all I saw was a blurred out face. I felt piercing pain on my abdominal and blood was trickling down my face. The rest of me wasn't doing any better. I heard shouts of people chasing us and dogs barking. The person beside me was exhausted also with his haggled breath. We were beginning to slow down. Not good. All I could think of was one name. Mana. We got to escape but how? It felt like a million of thought was rushing through my head at once. I made a split decision. I quickly stopped and ran toward the noise. I heard a name being screamed out but the blood rushing through my ears muffled the noise. As I neared the noise, bullets started whizzing by me. I had to continue. Then the pain started. Pain ruptured through me. Before I knew it, all I saw was darkness. Filled with pain. I couldn't breath...help me...save me..._

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I jolted up with a thin layer of sweat covered my skin. I felt around and remembered I was still in my room. I could see the faint shadows of my furniture. The same nightmare. The dream of my death. No..not my death...but...whose? My head hurted and I pressed my hand against head, trying to ease the pain. As it numbed to a dull pain at the back of my head, I got up and headed to the medical ward. I knocked softly and entered after being given the permission. Behind the desk surrounded with medical cabinets sat an small old man. He was a good few feet shorter and with really dark eyes. I walked forward and started to kneel down, but was stopped.

"No, no. None of those formalities here. What can I do for you, Allen?" I felt a gaze upon me as he looked me over. I gave nothing away as I nodded and began to speak.

"Bookman Sir, I'm here for more of the dietary supplements and my regular pills. And that is not my assigned name, sir." Allen was the name the orphanage gave me, something so long ago. Something that means completely opposite from me now. At this response, it caused him to sigh. Also, it wasn't uncommon for many of the soldiers to request dietary supplements. When you're in and out of HQ, you can barely get anything in you. Unlike me, I can barely stomach anything and it was the only thing keeping me going.

"Walker, if you keep this up, you'll only be digging yourself a deeper grave. A human needs the necessary nourishment to function. And also the proper amount of sleep." I simply stood there in silence. He sighed once more, already knowing my answer. " I worry about you sometimes...Is it the nightmares again?." I stilled, causing him to notice my discomfort and confirming his suspicion. He walked to one of the cabinets and took out a large jug of dietary supplements and a hand sized jar of the sleeping pills and handed it to me. Turning around quickly, I pointed my gun at the intruder behind me. There stood one of Leverrier's punishers. I slowly retracted my gun, but kept my guard up. One showing up usually signals something bad. "What is it you want...?,'' Bookman sighed, going back to his seat and gazing upon the masked man.

"I'm here to inform soldier Walker that he is to be dispatched out immediately. We've been informed the leaders of the other church may be in Germany." It caused the Bookman to glare at the crow.

"I'm putting Walker in detainment as he is under medical observation," Bookman countered, knowing that I came back from a mission not too long ago.

"Denied. Your clearance is overruled with the permission of Leverrier." Bookman slammed the desk with his hands and glared at the masked man. "If you have any objections, you may take it up with my superior." I placed a hand on the Bookman's shoulder, letting him to know stand down.

"Understood. When is my dispatching date?," I questioned, knowing how Leverrier works, probably today or tomorrow. Many of the soldiers usually get a few days break, but the longer the soldiers are in the Order the shorter it is. It's to prevent them from planning anything against the Order and for them exercising their authority over us, making us submit. Especially me being the cursed one since I was young. No exceptions was made as I was the eyesore of the church. He notified my departure being tomorrow at the break of dawn. I simply nodded in acceptance. I thanked the bookman before exiting his office before more conflict arises. As I exited, I felt a familiar presence standing near the door.

"I saw the crow wandering around...,"spoke Kanda knowing what it meant. He wasn't one of the friendliest people, but one of the people I've known since the beginning. He does care for his comrades.

"I was assigned another mission..." He tsked at this.

"That bastard doesn't know when to give up...Make sure you don't die, moyashi. Or I'll be the one who has to haul your ass back to this hell..." That caused me to smirk at him this once.

"Not planning to, Bakanda. Not until I drag your ass back first." With this he quietly left, leaving me to continue back to my room to get ready. Dawn was only a few hours away. I took a few pills and chugged it down with water to ward away the sleep and appetite. As I sat on my bed waiting for the sun to come up, I leaned my head against the cool stonewall and wondered what lies ahead in Germany for me...


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Here's another chapter. This has to the worst chapter I've written in my opinion. Haha. I had so many versions of this chapter on how Allen would end up with the Noahs that I end up scrapping over and over. I wanted to add a certain someone to lighten the mood for Allen since he's such a dreary person as it is. Haha. A bit lighthearted moments. I hope you guys like it. It took me forever to do this one. Haha. I doubt anyone read the author's note. :{D Review, favorite, and/or follow and all that jazz. Have a great day! Thank you again to everyone who gave this story a chance!

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As I sat in in one of the train compartment, I went over the assignment in my head. I was to meet my benefactor along the way to Germany. To act his guard while staying with the Noah Clan and gather information for Black Order. Just another bodyguard and recon mission. But instead of it lasting a few days, it will be lasting a few months. It is also said that my benefactor will be a bookman. It caused me to think back to the bookman I knew at the Order. Will it be another elderly person that I will be guarding? I pondered at this until a knock on the compartment door interrupted me. I readied my blade that was hidden in my sleeve as the door slowly slide open. There stood a boy around my age with red hair and a bright green eye. He casually stared at me before bursting into a large grin.

"Male, around the age of 18, snow white hair, blind, and short. You must be my guard." My finger twitched as I held on to my blade, contemplating not stabbing him in the forehead with it. He held out his hand in greeting, which surprised me. Bookmans are usually people who is neither on the "good" nor "bad" side, whichever it may be. They are usually observe the events in history rather than participating in it. To keep the information from being tainted, it causes them to be seclusive towards people. I ignored his hand to continue my gaze out the window towards the moving shadows passing by. "Come on... we'll be spending quite a few wonderful months together. Mind as well acknowledge my presence. By the way, my name is Lavi." He sat down in the seat in front of me and continued to stare at me in interest.

"Walker...," I said under my breath. The expression on his face brightened. While acting as the Bookman's guard, I must not reveal my true identity to him or anyone else. Human soldiers aren't known to the public for a reason. Revealing ourselves is the same as treason towards the Black Order. A treason that will activate our curse and it will slowly kill us.

As time went by, we sat in silence. It gave me time to observe him. When around people he tend to appear happy, but in his eyes, you can see that it is only a façade he puts on. You can tell a lot about someone through someone's eyes. It's like a window to their soul. In his eyes, you can see he suffered a lot in his lifetime. As the bookman turned to meet my gaze, I turned my interest back toward the window and instinctively clutched my left arm as it started to ache. A sign something is going to happen during his next mission.

We headed our separate ways as the train arrived at Berlin station. I went to go grab our luggage while he went to hail us a carriage to take us to the Noah's manor. Navigating through a place you're not familiar with was difficult, especially during this time when everyone is fumbling around as I trying to sidestep the people coming towards me. After I grabbed the luggage, I made my way toward the front of the train station where the carriage were located, but was stopped by someone bumping into me, causing the luggage to slip out of my hands.

"Ahh... Sorry sorry. Are you alright?," the stranger spoke. He had handed me the fallen luggage, causing our hand to touch and stiffen up at contact. His presences felt familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. It felt like my very being gravitate towards him, but I quickly dismiss it. I reminded myself I was in enemy territory now and currently on a mission. One slip up and it would be the end.

I regained my posture and tightened my grip on the luggage. "It's not a problem. It was my fault for not being careful where I was going. My apology, sir," I bowed.

"Nonsense...I apologize for my carelessness. I wish I could do something to compensate you, but it seem I'm tight on time. I'm late for a family meeting. Next time we meet, I'll treat you out, shounen." With that, he waved goodbye and left. Doubting in running into the strange man again, I made my way back toward my original destination.

The manor was situated at the top of the hill that overlooking the town with a cobblestone road leading to it. As we neared, a white mansion came into view. It was surrounded with a courtyard filled with greenery and a fountain in the middle. These were all new sights for me. Majority of my life, I've been surrounded by the stone brick wall of the Black Order. Flashes of images appeared too quickly for me to comprehend. I shook my head in hopes of clearing my head. I'm about to be in the Noah's manor...the enemy of the Black Order. I have to stay focus.

I followed Lavi into the manor. Like the outside, the inside was decorated extravagantly. Maids were lined up on either side of us as greeting. At the end was three people, I'm guessing the Noahs. I stood behind Lavi in silence as he went up to greet these people.

"Miss Lulubell, it's a pleasure in finally meeting you. Thank you again for inviting me into your humble abode in order to record the event from this end of the conflict," Lavi bowed toward the blond haired lady.

"Yes...But I do recall only allowing you to come though. Who is your companion that you have brought over?" She was keeping her gaze on me as she spoke to the bookman. At this, Lavi grinned.

"Oh, meet Mr. Walker. He shall be my designated assistant for my stay here. Just in case something starts to get rough, you know." The man in the white dress shirt started to laugh. That voice...it sounded familiar.

"My, my shounen. Didn't expect to be running into you this soon. Did you miss me?" Him! It was the man from the train station. He looked completely different from when he was before. I kept silent as Lulubell turned toward the man.

"You know this kid, Tyki?," in a chiding tone, skeptical of me.

"I ran into him when at the train station coming back. What can I say? I meet the most unexpected people." He was staring at me while smirking. The boy our age next to them seem to have an interest in me also. Lulubell now turned toward the boy.

"Wisely?" He was silent for a bit as to contemplating his thoughts before speaking.

"I got nothing...but...he seems oddly familiar." I was confused what he meant. He turned back towards her before speaking again. " If the bookman insist in having him around, we mind as well comply. We are asking a favor out of him. He mind as well have peace in mind while staying here, right?" Lulubell sighed, still reluctant .

"Fine...," she huffed before turning around and going back up the stairs.

The maids had taken our suitcase and showed us to our room. For safety purposes, we ended up sharing a room together. There were two twin bed on either side of the room with a wardrobe and a desk for each of us. The room was ten times larger than my room back the order. Lavi was the first to enter and collapse on the bed, enjoying it already. I stood by the door keeping guard.

"You don't have to be that rigid when we're in here alone together. Relax. It seem like you don't get that much of it." Relaxing... I don't even think I can do such a thing while being this close to the enemy. But I have to act my part the best I can. I made my way to the opposite bed and sat down, but I was still tense. I tried slouching. I heard a snicker on the other side of the room. "You're trying too hard. Just relax. Take a deep breath. Release those muscle."

"Such leniency can lead to mistakes. Mistakes can lead to death." He held up his hands in surrender, as if it offended me. I didn't mean to come out that harsh. Being here alone is putting me on the edge.

"Alright, alright. You win." He lie in his bed comfortably with his hand behind his head. " I mind as well tell you who we'll be staying with while we're here. The Noahs. They are worshiped like gods. The original Noah from the bible is said to be a messenger for disaster. But as he was the only survivor after the flood, they were thought to be the one who populated the world again. They were also thought of as blessed but also cursed by God. They represent the sins of us humans. That's why they are worship. That why they are fight against another church called the Black Order. The Black Order believe that they shouldn't be controlled by some people who don't know the best interest for the human race. They thought the Noahs don't know the hardship of the humans and only plan to control them...A lot of people are dying for such a stupid war because of greed for power..." He seem to quiet after down after that. I tilted my head.

"Isn't it normal for people to die? If not in the war, there are plenty of people who die from poverty, starvation, disease, and suicide. We can't help them all. It's just life...We're all pieces in someone's game. Some are disposed of faster than others. But eventually, we're all tossed away." I was looking at the ground before looking back up at him. He was smiling a sad smile.

"For someone who is blind, you seem to experienced a lot of hardships. Tell me, what was your life like? How were you blind?" At this, I stiffened up. I said too much. I began panicking inside. Do I have to eliminate him? I began to reach for the blade in my sleeve before I stopped myself...I can't. He's my pass to get in here. He laughed, surprising me again. "If you can't tell me, you don't have to. I was just curious. If it's too hard to, it's fine." I relaxed a bit after he said this.

"For a bookman, you're really friendly and close to people.'' He smiled at this statement, but I could tell he had forced it. I'm guessing he has suffered for being too intimate with people, especially for a bookman who rule was not to interfere with history.

I decided to leave it at that before I turned off the light that lit up the room. "Go to sleep...We have a long day tomorrow." He agreed and quickly dozed off. I was leaning against the headboard of my bed, staring at the ceiling. In my coat, I grabbed some pills and scarfed it down. There is no way sleep is going to be a option for me. Lurking outside of those doors, are enemies of the Black Order...My enemies...Are they?...


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** I'm kinda iffy on this chapter. I recently read the new chapter that came out and holy butts. I was so shocked. ∑(O_O；) You should go read it! I might incorporate this later in the story if I ever get that far. (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑Haha. I hope your enjoyed! Thank you for the followings and favorite. I'm glad someone enjoys this. Suggest what I should do in the next chapter or what you might like to see in the comments and I'll try to work my way around it! Thanks again for reading! Have a great day! (ノ*゜▽゜*)

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I opened the door into the dark corridor. At night, it gave me a chance to scout the place since everyone sleeping. I felt around so I could remember where everything was. I slowed my steps when I came upon pictures frames in the hallway. Portraits of people...How would I know that? Before I knew it, flashes of images appeared and a sharp pain pierced through my head. I clutched my head and fell to knees. It was unbearable.

" _Hi, my name is Joido. Welcome to the family..."_ The man's hand was outstretched, but yet again, his face was blurred out. I had reached out to his and shook. " _It's a pleasure to meet you-"_ The image blurred after that and the voices turned muffled. Different voices popped in and out of people I didn't recognize. It drowned out any thoughts I have. Footsteps came toward me from down the hallway, but I was in too much pain to even notice. I just wanted it all stop. Stop it all. Somebody touched my shoulder and I quickly turned up to face them, panicked and in pain. The voice sounded like the man in the flashback.

"...Joido...," I whispered as I was disorientated from the pain. It was slowly easing away after the man came. He stiffened up before speaking again.

"Shounen...are you alright?" It was Tyki...He had a expression of concern on his face. I got back on my feet slowly, still nauseated from the pain. I quickly straightened up myself. I can't believe I lost control in front of one of the Noahs. I bowed in respect and pretended nothing happened.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you this late at night. I ended up lost," I spoke in a straight voice as much as I can. You could tell my voice was strained. He looked skeptical of me before sighing.

"No, no. I was walking outside to take a swig of my cigarette. Lulubell gets on to me for smoking inside cause it leaves a smell. I stumbled upon you and was worried...By the way, where did you hear that name?" He stared at me as if I was a child caught doing something I shouldn't. I was silent before speaking, gathering my thought through my disorientated mind.

"I...honestly don't know...If you'll excuse me, I'll be heading back to my room." I quickly headed back in the direction I came from. I closed the door silently behind me and listened for the Bookman, who was still sleeping peacefully. My head hurts still, but not unbearable this time. With my back leaning against the door, I slid down in exhaustion. Being here causes me to have more and more panic attacks. I wondered what was wrong with me. Who was Joido? Everything was still a mess in my head and I wished it would just all stop. I sighed. I can't believe I showed them a weakness of mine. What should I do? It's been one problem after another. This is going to be an eventful mission.

* * *

I was standing by the door in the Noah's dining room, watching over my ward. They were all having breakfast together. In total, there was 16 seats, including Lavi's, with some seats empty. The tension was high as nobody was talking, minding their own business, but that didn't last long as someone threw some silverwares towards me. I slid my head to the side with it hitting the wall next to my head, causing laughter. It was from a pair of twins with black and blonde hair.

"My, my. I was wondering if you were a statue or not that they got recently. To my disappointment, you're not," the boy with the black hair laughed.

"'Yeah, yeah. A statue," the blond hair boy laughed with his brother. The other members stopped eating also to watch the commotion happening.

"Why do we have to have outsiders dining with us anyway? You're an eyesore...Along with you, bookman!" With this, they both took out a gun and pointed it at Lavi. He was wide eyed at the turn of events, but remained silent. This was escalating too fast. I grabbed the silverwares from the wall and nicked the guns out of their hand, causing it to splatter on their food and all over themselves. This caused laughter from some of the other members of the Noah family, which only angered the twins more. Thankfully, someone put a stop to it before it put my ward in anymore danger.

"Devit, Jasdero. Sit down and be quiet. Stop causing commotion at the table when we're eating," Lulubell reprimanded. They grumbled and sat back in their chairs, glaring daggers at me. But they were interrupted by a man opening the door beside me. He was at least a foot taller than me as he towered over when he entered.

"Mana! You've finally joined us for breakfast this morning! You know, father said it wasn't good being cooped up in your room all day," said the girl with spiky blue hair. From the sound of her voice, she seemed to be more or less around our age. The man yawned before smiling at his family.

"Yes, yes. I'm sorry for missing a lot. I just been really busy lately at night working, Road," Mana said sheepishly before taking a seat. That name...Mana...It had a certain ring to it. My hand began to shake as another panic attack began to surface, but I tried to suppress it. I must not show weakness. I must not give them an advantage. They are my enemy. They are the enemy of the Black Order. "So, who's our guest? Pardon me for not being up to date. I'm a caveman when I work in my room ," he asked before turning toward Lavi. "Hello. I'm sorry for the late introduction. I'm Mana Campbell." He held out a hand for him, which Lavi gladly accepted.

"I'm Lavi. From the bookman clan. It seem that the head of the Noah Clan have allow me to record the event from this side of the war in exchange for information. I'll be in your care." It caused Mana to laugh. But something in his voice, seem to be off. Something that Lavi said bothered the man.

Cold sweat began to form the longer I stayed. I had to get out of there. Nothing else mattered. I had to leave. Before anyone could respond, I quickly slipped out the door he came through. I retraced my steps back to the room and stayed in there till I could calm down once more. Mana...that name...from a dream...no...my nightmare. Was he the same person? The cause of my nightmares? I was probably still delusional or something from my recent attack. Before I reason myself out anymore, there was a knock on my door which caused me to become more alert. I grabbed the blade and hid it behind my back before slowly opening the door to a crack. I sensed someone familiar and that smell...It was Tyki.

"Hey, Shounen. Are you alright?," he sounded concern again. Is this what people called compassion? Or was it pity? I didn't understand human emotion that well. I hid the blade back up my sleeve before opening the door wider for him to enter. He held something in his hands before placing it on a desk. It clattered like the sound of dishes. I tilted my head towards him in question. He took a seat by the desk while I stood my ground by the door. "I saw that you didn't eat anything, so I thought you might like something."

"I'm not hungry...,"I said quietly. As good as the food smelled, I could barely stomach anything. To me, food was just like another tasteless object in order for me to live. From when I was young, food was a scarce thing so I've learned to eat less and less. It got even worse when arriving at the order.

"Then, are you alright? You were acting strange last night and back at the dining room." This time in his tone, it was more curiosity than concern. Of all the people, why did it have to be him who noticed.

"I'm simply aren't accustomed to large group of people, especially strangers." He stared at me, looking for any indication that I might of lied. But I remained as calm as possible before he sighed in defeat. I wasn't lying when I said when I'm not accustomed to large groups, but usually I could hide it pretty well. What made me react wasn't the people itself, it was him...That man...But I would never confide to Noah or anyone else of this.

"You seem so detached from everyone else. You seem to close off your walls to anyone who approaches. Why is that?" _Trust no one. They will betray you. In the end, you are nothing to them. No one cares about you. You're a nobody. They will cause your downfall._ I shook my head to clear of such thoughts.

"Why must I open myself to anyone? What reasoning do I have to let them in? How would I know if they aren't going to hurt me with these information that obtain after?" I turned around trying to distance the space between us more, but he grabbed my hand and I automatically flinched before recoiling my hand back. I do not need such compassion. I do not need such emotions. All I must do is follow orders. "Don't touch me." I could feel that he felt dejected. But what other way could I have done for him to leave me alone. After all, I will be the downfall of them. I'm nothing but a puppet dictated by the voices. He apologized before he left and I was by myself again in the room. Sometime being alone is such a scary thing. Your mind tend to tempt you and taunt you. It can cause a person to go mad...


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** I hope you're liking it so far. You get to find out what happen to the two brothers now in this chapter. Kinda short. Haha. Don't forget to give me your feedbacks!

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 _They'll betray you...slowly, you'll fall. Don't trust them. They will never care about you. It's all a lie. They'll kill you. They'll kill you like before..._ I shooked my head of the voices as I recalled that I was I was in the same room as the Noahs. Lavi was sitting across from Lulubell as they exchange information. While I was dazed off, more noah seem to accumulate in the living room. All of them seem to cluster on Lulubell's side as they listened in. I tuned back into the conversation as I heard something that sparked my interest.

"So you said that there is 14 noahs? In recorded history, I thought there was originally 13?," Lavi asked.

"We also don't know how the 14th noah came to be. As you know, Noah repopulated the Earth as God drowned the Earth of the sinners. But because of that, every human has noah's gene dormant within them. Only a certain number of human are meant to awaken with the Noah's gene," Lulubell said. Wisely, Road, Tyki, and Sheril seem to migrated to the chairs surrounding Lavi and Lulubell, listening in. I was standing in the back corner, supervising the meeting. Thankfully, none of them spotted me.

"Then who's the 14th noah?" When he said this, all their faces turned grim. It seemed to of been a touchy subject.

"That's what we want information on. Neah Campbell. Our 14th...He has been missing for 35 years. During that time, the war against the Black Order had just started. Many of us had perished from that war as we didn't have as much support as we do now. During that war, Neah and his brother was out in the front lines fighting the Black Order. Their forces pushed through their defenses, causing Neah and his brother to flee. But the Black Order was right on the tracks of the two brothers. From what we heard, Neah had protected his brother from the hands of the Black Order...by sacrificing himself. He ran back toward the troops of the Black Order as they were fleeing, telling his brother to run. As of then, we have no information as of where the 14th is." Their face was pain-stricken as Lulubell finished. So, the Black Order had won back then and manage to kill off some of the noahs. But as of now, the Noah and Order is at a standstill from what I know of current. That seems laughable to me. My "master" seem like he is struggling gaining an advantage in the war.

"I'm sorry for your lost of your family. I have heard of that name from my master..." All the noah seemed of perked up as he said this. It lit a hope in them, hoping that a family member might still be alive. But knowing the order, that seemed to be impossible. "My master is currently on the Black Order's side, recording their side...But he did tell me that he snooped around and found records regarding of Neah. From what I can recall, Neah was captured by the Black Order...and was publically executed." Their face was stood blank before rage and sorrow flourished through. Pure hatred emanated from many of them. Ah...this makes it more complicated for me when they find out where I'm from...I turned over to the only one who hasn't lost their composure. Wisely was staring intently at Lavi as he processed the information through his mind.

"That's not all is it? I can read from your mind that you're not telling the full truth." It didn't phase Lavi abit hearing his reply. I was slightly intrigue. This was new information for me, but I wasn't as shocked about it...If he has an special ability, than does all the noah have one too? _Yes..._ I flinched at the voice...I made sure no one noticed me. Shut up...Get out of my head. The voice seem to quiet before I tuned back to the conversation.

Lavi had smirked. "You are right. Before he was executed, they had experimented in hopes of giving the Order a advantage. The execution was a publicity stunt, in a way...His body was extinguished, but before they had, they had placed his consciousness into another host. Who it is? It was never recorded in hopes of secrecy." It's no surprise that they even conducted an experiment. As of now, they continued the sick practice, in hopes of winning this game called war. That's how I became what I am now. But I never heard of anyone being a host of a Noah when during my time in the Black Order. If they really had a Noah host, then he would probably be pretty low in Order. I tried to think of anyone who stood out that might fit the supposed host before I was interrupted by footsteps. I turned toward the direction of the stairs as someone was coming down. His presence was similar to the man I fled from the dining room. I tightened my resolve and brace for his appearance. It took the others a little later to notice that someone else has entered.

"Is it true? Neah is gone?," Mana said. His voice wavered in uncertainty, as the response to it would ruin him. _No..._ Again, the voice spoke once more, surprising me again. Usually, the voice would taunt me when I was alone. Flashes of image appeared again, causing me pain as I clutched my head.

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 _A man dressed in a suit coming down the stairs. His face was once again blurred out. He was happy, for some reason I knew. People was all around me, interacting with each other. But it seem like it was all from a distant past..._

 _"Brother! You were suppose to wait for me! This is our party to celebrate us getting to enter the line of war to fight for our family." I could hear a sigh coming from me before a deep voice spoke._

 _"There's nothing to be excited about going into a war...Many people are dying for no reason. I'm against both of us going to the front line."_

 _"Don't be a spoil sport. It's a party. Cheer up a bit. It's just a good luck party as per se. There's no way I'm letting my little brother go into the war by yourself. You're my only blood family left..." This caused another sigh before it all went dark once more. Once again, visions of the two brothers. Why do I have such memories?_

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When I regained senses again, I felt someone was near me and someone had their hand on my shoulder. I flinched away and quickly took a step back. It was Mana. It seem as everyone's attention was turned toward me. How did this happen? I could sense worry from the man in front of me. I could barely make out what they were saying as the after effects started to hit.

"Are you alright, Allen?" No... Don't talk to me. Get away. I couldn't get any word out. My body wouldn't listen to me. As he came towards me, I backed away. Stop. Leave me alone. You're causing all this...Help me... Before I knew it, I blanked out. All I knew was everyone was gone. It was dark and cold...


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Here you go, another chapter. You get to learn about some details of Allen's background when he was a child. Thought that would be appropriate to put in I guess. If you like it this chapter, don't forget to give me your feedback and favorite/follow this story!

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As I slowly opened my eyes, I was greeted to an unfamiliar setting, which surprised me even more. I could see. It automatically put me on guard as to where I was. All around I was surrounded by darkness. When I tried to move, I couldn't. I found myself chained to a stone seat as I struggled around. It reminded me too much of the experiments back at the Order when I was younger. It gave me flashbacks during the period when everything seemed like it wasn't worth living. _Why had God forsaken me to this punishment? What have I done to him to deserve such injustice done to me?_ I began having a panic attack as I kept remembering until a voice calmed my nerves. It was such a warm and soothing voice as I continued to listen to it as it sang something so familiar, but yet I don't remember hearing it. I began to tense up again as I heard footsteps clacking on floor. I looked up as the man stopped in front of me. I was surprised at how he looked so close to Tyki, but I didn't dare to show such emotion to this person. He had a different aura to the Tyki I knew of. He had a look of sadness as he looked at me. Pity?

"Poor Allen, I'm sorry that you had to suffer like you did. I hope you can forgive me..." Forgive? Forgive you for what? I was confused as he spoke. "I wish that in this world, you didn't have to suffer like you had. I wished that there would be no pain, no war, and no violence. But instead, you were thrown in the mix of it all. As the Black Order and Noah fight it out. I hope to give you something that you've lost in reality, back here. That's as much I can do as I'm stuck here."

"Who are you? Where is here?," I questioned as to not anger him in his own territory. I was stuck here, at his mercy. From past experiences, I have learned not to disobey or struggle in such situations. The Order had ingrained it in us the consequences of such habits. He was still looking at me with such pitiable eyes as he decided to what to say next.

"Where you are, we are inside your mind. You had a panic attack from one of my memories. My apology. I never had wanted this to happen...All I wanted to do was to protect my one and only family. But it seems that even he was corrupted by such a world. But who am I? Well, only time will tell, my little Allen." He reached out towards me and patted my head, causing me to tense up. Hands reaching out was never a good sign for me. They were always to kill me or to experiment on me. Who was he? Why did he know about me? This person was the cause of all my pain? Why? Why was he sorry? I didn't understand. Why apologize for such a thing? If he was sorry, why do it? Was it out of his control? So many questions circled through my mind. The man looked up into the darkness before speaking once more. "It seems it's time for you to leave me, my child. I hope that we will meet once more. Don't stop, keep walking, my dear Allen." My eyes started to droop as I tried my best to stay awake. It was pulling me to sleep. No. I don't want to go. I don't want to go back to reality. Why won't you save me? Why can't you save me?

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As I woke up, my senses began to focus back into reality. Where was I? Remembering again that I was back, I was still at a lost to where I'm at without my vision. I felt around. It seems as if I had been place in a bed of some sort. I kept my breathing level as to assess the situation from what I could make out from the conversation from outside the hallway. I could feel a few presence outside. I tuned in the best I could to them speaking outside.

"What's wrong with him? Why hasn't he waken up?," Mana asked. Why does he care so much? What was the point of caring? Such emotions only end up turning into suffering as time passes. Is it such an emotion one show to anyone they meet? Why me though?

"He seems to stabilize for the time being. I'm guessing something triggered some sort of attack for him...I don't know him personally, so I don't what kind of conditions he's under. But his body seems to be, how would you say it, under stress? He seems to be lacking sleep and he's abit underweight," Sheril said. His tone seemed like he could of cared less of what happened, but he held a slight uncertainty to it. I sighed before sitting up in the bed. Ah, I fucked up. I pushed my hair out of my way, but dread began to fill me as I find something was missing. My eye band. Someone must of taken it off while I was knocked out. I quickly turned toward the noise of the door opening. They must've heard me waking up. My hand was still touching my eyes as I felt lost without them. I heard a squeal before I was jumped on and practically had the air strangled out of me. I froze in place, unknowing of what was I supposed to do in this kind of situation. My instinct tells me to quickly detain the person, but I must not expose myself. "I thought he was just a nasty guard. The Bookman didn't tell me he was such a cutie!," Sheril squealed as he continued to hug me. I closed my eyes quickly in hopes no one saw them. There's nothing cute about these worthless things. It is nothing but a burden for me to shoulder. Especially for the scar that was engraved on my left eye.

It took both Mana and Tyki to settle Sheril down enough for him to release me. At this point, I was warey of people's touches. Now, Sheril, Tyki, Wisely and Mana stood in the room as they overlooked me, who was helpless on the bed. If this turn for the worse, I still have my weapons stashed on me. From what I could tell, the door was on the left wall, behind the 4 noahs. I could some how knock them down long enough and make my escape. But I was still at a disadvantage as they have their special ability. I have to be careful to keep my distance from them. I was still weak from the attack, so I wasn't certain how plausible was this plan. It's my only option as of now.

"I'm sorry for my brother's poor behavior. He is a pain at times," Tyki apologized, causing a negative response from his brother. Ah, that's why they both inherited the same stubbornness of not listening.

"It's quite alright, Lord Noahs. I'm must apologize for troubling you all once more," I replied quietly in a scratchy voice before bowing from where I rest. I felt that Tyki felt disappointed from me being so formal to him. I felt Sheril walking up to me again, causing me to back up alittle.

"There, there. I'm done with harassing you right now. I just need to check up on you." His voice was back into a serious tone. I complied as I sat still, letting him pull my eyelid back and shining a flashlight into my eye I'm guessing. He went to my left eye where my scar was next. When I felt a touch, I automatically flinched. The others behind him tensed up. Sheril ended up leaving my left eye alone. "Welp, you are legally blind as they say. But your left eye has some old scarring from an old wound...Were you always blind? What happen to your eye?" I froze at this question. Do I tell the truth? Do I make something up? No. Wisely can easily tell if I'm telling the truth or not. I sighed at what I got myself into. I hope that the curse won't get activated with me revealing this. I hung my head down, facing the sheets covering me.

"No. When I was younger, I could remember the rainy dark sky of England. I lived in an orphanage when I was little as I'm guessing my parents had abandoned me there like any other kid. It wasn't uncommon to leave your child at orphanages as livelihood was hard back then. Money was scarce and so was food. To lessen that burden, kids were usually left behind so the parents may live on to support themselves. But at a certain point, the capacity limit was hit. Orphans who were the least common to be adopted out was cast out or sold out to different facilities to be slaves or whatever was available. For me, I was sent to a...medical facility of a sort. Many were experimented and died. I was some of the lucky one who lived intact," I explained. I tried to be as vague as possible. As a kid, you wouldn't expect them to remember it. But I remember it all. The years I've been there, it's all been etched into my memories. It wouldn't leave no matter how much I try to. But that wasn't even half of it all. I heard someone sobbing as I turned to face the Noahs once more. Again, I felt sadness and pity from them. Why do they keep showing such emotions to me. They didn't even know me. Who I really was. What I really was. People confuses me with such emotions.

"Th-that was such a hard childhood, Allen!," Sheril sobbed as he tried to come hug me again, I manage to jump out of the bed and out of the way, causing him to crash on the other side of the bed. I felt a cold breeze as I moved on my torso and realized my clothes has been unbuttoned. I could feel stares on me now as they gaze upon the curse around my upper left shoulder and the different lacerations inflicted throughout the years. I quickly turned around from them and button up my uniform the best as I can. I felt a sharp pain in my body, but I had to ignore it now. Not in front of them. I quickly turned back around before bowing once more.

"I'm sorry you had to witness such a horrendous sight. I'll make sure not to let it happen again. And once again, I'm sorry for bothering you with me. If you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way." Some of the Noah was about to say something before I had cut them off by leaving quickly out the door. I had felt so trapped and confined in that room. On one hand, I felt like I was a cat surrounded by dogs, but on the other hand, it felt like comfortable around them. Like I wanted to be with them. No. There was no like or want. Such selfish thoughts will break me. I don't want that. I quickly felt my way around before I found familiar surrounding again to lead me back to my room. As I entered, Lavi wasn't back, which gave me time. I quickly stripped off my uniform and felt around my cursed arm. It felt like my whole body was burning as the curse continued to reach forward, closer and closer to the main part of my body. Eventually, these black stigmas will consume me completely and I'll be no more.


	7. Chapter 7

Hey guys, do you still remember me? No? Okay...｡ﾟ(ﾟ∩´﹏`∩ﾟ)ﾟ｡Well, here's another chapter of this story. I wrote this chapter so long ago and I just add to it when I get ideas. At least I'm or the story not dead, right? Haha. No? Bad joke? Okay...(ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ I just suck at writing sometime and I just finish the ending today, so I'm sorry it's kind of half-assed. (Also college was a factor in this delay...with finals/mid-term/ fast-track classes. RIP) I felt like an appropriate ending of the chapter here, but would take me few more days to actually proofread it to completely make it sound like DECENT english. I don't think anyone would want to wait any longer since the last time I posted something was August of last year. Haha...Time flys...Forgive me (´._.`) **Thank you to everyone who favorited/followed/comment on this story! I read them all and every time I see the notification in my email, I feel so happy and inspired to write!** **٩(๑òωó๑)۶I lub you all** **｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡** Ps. Does anyone read these author notes anymore? Idk...Am I wasting my time? Haha.

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Touching my shoulder, I felt at the black stigma that was etched deeply into my body as it extended its hold from my left arms up. The more I defy the law of the church, the more it continues to consume me from my inside out.. I shudder at the thought. No, I must live...I've killed so many to survive this far...I still felt a burning ache from when I revealed the stigma as it slowly made its way up, rotting my flesh along its path, making its way up to my shoulder. I carefully got dressed in my usual attire, trying not to agitate it anymore before leaving out of my room.

I was still feeling the after effects from fainting, but I tried to keep my composure. I have to remember, my enemies were all around me. As I walked down the hall, I felt someone stalking behind me. It put me on edge and I decided that it was better to confront them rather than being ambushed, so I halted my steps before turning backwards. "If you wanted my attention, you could always call out to me, instead of stalking behind me. Unless I'm in your way…?" I heard some snicker and automatically matched it to a face. Wisely.

"For a blind person, you're really hard to sneak up on…Tell me, how did you know I was here, dear guest?" He was in front of me now, patronizing me. But, what for? "Living in the streets of London teach a person a thing or two. What is that you need, Master Noah?" Calling them with such a name disgusted me to no end. It reminded me of that sickening bastard, Levierrer.

"No, no. No formality. I'm just about your age so it would be weird calling me with such a title. Just call me Wisely." I simply nodded at his request, abit surprised. But not that he needs to know. "I was wondering, who you are? I can't seem to read anything from your mind…as if you've purposely blocked it."

I tilted my head in confusion. It was a habit I gained since my expression don't always show. "I don't think I know what you mean...do I remind you of someone?" I spoke innocently, which surprised him as the silence between us dragged on before he noticed and coughed in embarrassment.

"No, not at all." He excused himself and walked off. I felt a light hearted emotion I'm guessing is amusement. I was amused? It surprised even myself, but I didn't show it thankfully in my facade. I quickly frowned at my action, thinking if this what Levierrer feels when he laughs at the cries of the weak whenever he punishes them. Shivers crawled up my spine as I recalled all the cries at night that kept me up at nights during my earlier days in the Black Order. Remembering my own experience with that bastard of a man. I shook my head of the thoughts that plagued my head.

I continued to walk toward my destination before being stopped for the second time with someone calling out my name. "Shounen...good morning to you. What gives me the pleasure of meeting you this morning?" I felt a disbelief before retorting back. For some reason, I feel like I can relax around him, even if it's just a little.

"You called out to me first. Shouldn't you ask yourself that?" He burst out laughing at my quick retort. I shut my mouth, trying not to criticize him for laughing at me, which caused him to laugh even more.

"Yes, yes, you're right, shounen. But you were pouting earlier so I couldn't help it. I thought it was mighty cute of you of such an action." Pouting? I hadn't noticed such expression were even possible for me anymore. This got me to frown even more, which resulted in him chuckling to himself even more. I knew I wasn't going to win this before sighing and letting it go.

"So what is it that you need with me, Master Mikk...,"wondering what did he want from me. It was obvious that he seeked me out rather than running into him coincidentally. I felt displeasure from him when I said that. Did I say something offensive? I tried not to dwell on it too much. I don't even know why would I even care...

"Call me Tyki...Formality has dulled me over the years. Treat me as a friend more than a stranger." I was silent for a second. He was upset over me calling him formally...Is he a child? I stifled a laugh and I looked away in embarrassment when I noticed what I've done. It surprised even me that he caused me to laugh, something that I haven't had experience in. This caused Tyki great joy as it cause him to see something beside the stoic expression always plastered on my face.

"What are you laughing at, shounen? Mind including me in the joke?" He leaned in inches away from my face. I flinched at his closeness, still wary but held my ground. I won't back down from someone like him. Showing fear is something that will coming back to haunt you, something I've experienced many times during my years in the Black Order.

"It's nothing to worry about, Mas-Tyki..."The name was foreign to me as it rolled off my tongue. I felt a light-heartedness when talking to Tyki...How come? I was confused, but I decided it was better in the long run to ignore such emotions. He seemed to enjoy me saying his name for whatever reason. He moved slowly, placing a hand on my head, this time not having a reaction to it.

"It's good that you have other expression other than that serious look all the time...It's okay to be yourself around me. You can trust me..." I felt a pang in my chest. What was this? I don't like this feeling I'm getting. It's something so foreign to me. But the warm hand on my head, it feels good... I involuntarily leaned into the hand. But in the back of my mind, a whispers broke the silent peace I was experiencing as it chanted repeatedly. _Don't trust him...They all lie...He will cause you to fall deeper._ I froze...the voices were back. Footsteps approached our location, which snapped me out of my daze and caused me to straighten back up and replace my mask. He noticed my rigidness again and became confused. "If that is all you need, Master Mikk. I'll be on my way." I quickly side stepped him and continued on to my destination, ignoring the cry of my name. No, it's not my name anymore...Allen had died long ago...It was a mistake, showing him a vulnerable side of me. It was unlike me making mistakes left and right. He's affecting me too much. Being with him makes me experience...joy? Happiness? I can't even differentiate what these emotions are anymore. Do I even get to to be happy? No...I suppose not. I'm a murderer. I have killed for my selfish wish to survive. If it was not for me, many people would still be alive now. Many innocent people who had families and children. I don't expect to be happy anymore. I shouldn't. I don't need happiness. Happiness will only cause me to die. _Yes...continue...be swallowed by the darkness in your heart..._ Shut up. Just shut up. Leave me alone... _Hahahahahaha..._ I shook my head trying to clear my head of the madness that has came over me before reaching the double door that led to a library.

Lavi was there, immersed in the books for his study of Noah's. I walk up to his presence as I heard him stop what he was doing to speak. "Sorry for the commotion a few days ago," I said, bowing.

"Hey, hey. No need to get that serious this early in the morning. And it's fine. I don't really mind," he said, laughing and placing his hands on my shoulder. I flinched at the gesture, but I stood still. "Besides, I don't think you could of helped it of when you decided to get sick. By the way, are you alright now? What happened?" I thought about it for a bit before slowly nodding, unsure of what to tell him.

"Nothing serious...Just exhaustion, Lavi," I spoke quietly. I didn't know what to I would call that experience. A dream? No...A nightmare?...I decided lying would of been the best option as even I don't know who and what was that man I encountered when I was unconscious. He had the appearance of Tyki, but the atmosphere around him was different from the ones of Tyki. My gut feeling was telling me to keep quiet about the incident. Pointing out something else that was wrong with me was ill advised as it showed that I'm weak. Lavi looked at me skeptically before sighing, knowing that I would say no more of the incident.

"If you say so...Don't forget, we're in this together. If you need any help, don't hesitate." I bowed once more, showing my sign of respect, but neither agreeing nor denying his help. Across the table, there were books scattered across ranging from old mythology to history books that recorded the time that dated back to the creation of the world. Lavi sighed in frustration as he dropped the book in his hand onto the table and leaned back on his chair.

"What's wrong?," I asked at his sign of frustration. Me being here doesn't help Lavi at all since I'm not able to see any of the books clearly with this bandage over my eyes. Feeling useless, I hope to help relieve some of his stress by letting him vent it out.

"At all the books I've read so far, they talk the creation and how Noah help repopulate the world. It started as originally 13 Noahs, but in order to find this fourteenth Noah, I need to know as much as possible. But these gives me absolutely nothing about any characteristics of the fourteenth Noah." As he said that, a flashback came smacking me across the face as I braced myself. _There was 2 mans in the library we were in as they walked toward the bookshelf. At a closer inspection, it was the two brothers again._

" _Brother, what are we doing in here?" said the older of the two. The other brother was holding onto a old leather bound journal as he walked up to one of the back bookshelves and placing it there._

" _Trying to hide this thing. It is something I documented over the time I'm here. It's something to mark that I existed in this world." The older brother felt sad for his younger brother._

" _What do you mean? I'll always remember you, and besides, we can't really die from old age." This cause the younger of the brother to laugh._

" _Yeah, you're right...But still...It contain memories of my human life as well...something that I don't want to forget as time goes on. Eventually these memories are going to fade and I don't want to change into somebody...no...something that I'm not..." The older brother placed a hand on the younger's shoulder, staring at him intently._

" _That's not going to happen. We'll always be together, through thick and thin. Forever and always," the man said, tapping his fist lightly on the younger's shoulder._ The image faded back out as I regained my senses back in the real world. So much for forever, I thought. I felt someone's hand on my shoulder and I froze. What happened? My hearing was the last thing I recovered before noticing who it was.

"Allen!...Earth to Allen!..." When he noticed that I froze up, he let go and sighed. "I didn't think a person like you were capable to zone to that extent," he laughed. I froze as it all swarmed back in my head. My foot began to move on it's own as if possessed by some force as it carried me to the back of the library, weaving through the shelves as if I been here before. I heard Lavi calling my name, but that was the least of my problems as my body urged me to the back towards a specific shelf that was in my flashback. My hand slowly stretched out and grabbing hold a familiar leather bound book covered in years of dust. Holding it in my hand, I felt a nostalgic feeling from it as my hand shook. I heard footstep behind me as I quickly hid the book in my coat as I turned back to Lavi who was worried. "Hey Allen, you sure you okay? I'm sorry for teasing you...I didn't think it was that bad..." I couldn't tell him the truth...So I pulled the dead smile that I showed almost everyone. An expression that I lost the privilege of even feeling anymore.

"No, no. It's alright. It wasn't you, I was just feeling a bit ill still. I'm sorry to worry you quite as much," I said as I walked him back toward his table to pick up his work to bring to the room. I quickly slipped the book in my jacket as we left the library. What is my connection to this thing?... _Don't stop, keep walking..._


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: Hey guys...It's been like, what? Almost a year since I've last posted? A lot of you probably won't see this as I'm a failure of an author at updating and a lot of you have already quit on this story...OTL. But thank you to all the people who had commented, favorited, or followed since the last chapter. All the notification goes to my email, which I end up seeing them and it makes me have butterflies in my stomach (I see you returning commenters ;3 Much love 3)~ I hope you continue to support me, even with my sporadic updates. You know it's bad when the author has to reread their own story just to remember details in their plot...OTL Haha. I hope you enjoy and let me know how it is in the comments. A little more Tyki and Allen interaction and a bit less depressing Allen. See you next year? LOL (I hope this is not the case.)

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Days after being the last vision, I was left in my room to my own accord again. Lavi was busy in the library again researching about anything that might help him come to understand the Noahs more, and finding out about the mysterious 14th Noah. Sitting on the bed, I reached into my coat to grab the leather bound book again. On the front of it, it had engraved lettering on it as I traced over it. It spelled Neah Campbell. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. What was I thinking? What was the point of taking and hiding this damn book if I can't even read it? And how are my visions related to this? If all my vision was in this Neah person's perspective, then the other shadowed person must be Mana then...? All this was so confusing for me to comprehend. Why me of all people to be chosen to come here? Why me that's getting all these visions? As I was sitting on the edge of the bed hovering over my knees with the book in hand, a person bust through my door with a bang. It caused me to flinch as the door ricochet back against the wall behind it. My hand automatically gripped my blade, but a familiar cologne wafted to my nose as I relaxed back to my original position.

"What is it, Master Mikk?," I politely asked, even though he was the one to intrude into my room without any prior notice.

"Listen to me, shounen. You. Me. We're going to the festival in town today. I need to go see some people and I need you to come with me." This made me turn toward him and furrow my brows at him.

"Ha? Why do I need to go with you? If you don't remember, my job is to guard Master Lavi, not go on a wild goose chase around town for your entertainment, Master Mikk." He smirked at my statement, which irritated me even more.

"Not to worry. I've already asked your 'keeper' to have you for today," he stated proudly. I sighed and shook my head at him.

"Have you even thought about the possibility of the public reacting to you being out in the open? And some unknown person hanging around their 'God' like it's nothing?" He simply laughed at my worries.

"You worry too much, shounen. I already have this figured out. This isn't my first outing. I have a disguise for when I go out to meet my friends on the outside. Being in this home gets stuffy after a while of being put on a pedestal all the time, you know?" My mouth twitched as my irritation increased. I shouldn't have been riled up by his obvious bait, but he seems to know how to get on my last nerves. I imagine myself kicking him off that high horse of his and giving a piece of my mind.

"Oh my bad, Master Mikk. I should have thought about your struggles. How thoughtless of me. How horrible it is to be stuck in a place with no care in the world of whether you have a shelter nor food on your table." He was quiet for a few seconds and I silently wondered if I went too far with this familiarity. One of the disadvantages of not being able to see. A person's expression can show a lot as the eyes of people is the window to their soul.

"Was that just sarcasm?" I sighed once more as he missed my point completely. He quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me out of my room to a completely different area of the mansion. He began throwing clothes at me and pushed me towards a door, I'm guessing is a bathroom or a closet of some sort. " Get dressed, shounen. Like you said, shouldn't attract unnecessary attention while we are out. 'Like they say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do'." I facepalmed my face as I wonder how I got into this mess.

As I quietly exited the door I came in, I was rubbing my right arm at the lack of sleeve this outfit contain. I was glad that the left sleeve was still intact, so it wasn't that hard to hide the deformities underneath, but the material of the shirt was quite light and weightless, which made me feel vulnerable. My usual attire is much heavier and thicker than what I'm currently wearing in order to protect myself in any situation I may get myself in. The collar of the shirt was high enough to cover most of my markings that had recently spread and the pants was a basic pair of loosely fit pants. I heard a whistle and I turned toward the corner it came from.

"Wow, shounen. You actually look like your age now. A regular teenager out to have fun instead of a middle-aged man who hasn't cracked a smile in years. Not like you have now, but this is a major improvement." I rolled my eyes underneath at his over dramatic statement. "Now, while we are at trying to blend in, let's get to the point of the formality in your speech. While we are out, don't call me Master anything. Just consider me like any other person you might encounter in the open. Oh, and try to talk like any regular teenager would. Tone it down with the formality a couple of notches would be good."

I sighed as this got more and more complicated as he continued on. He was basically telling me to undo everything that has been drilled in me by the order and act 'normal'. What is normal at this point? How do I become something normal when I've ever experience the life in the order? Is normal just the way you talk? Or is it the way a person perceives one another and see normality? From what I can tell, I look the opposite of normal. My body has scars and markings that a normal person at my age would have never experienced. And age...what is my age? I've lost count of how long I've even been alive in this world. I've only known that I was taken in by the order when I was fairly young. Counting the years of experimentations would have driven even the sanest person mad. From what Tyki said, I would be around the teens. That didn't seem too far off if I had to guess how old I was. Maybe 16 or 17 years of age? Maybe appearing even older than that with the many years in the order as I'm a bit leaner than many kids my age. As I thought about the different aspects for me to portray the 'normal' that he was looking for, it got even more and more confusing as, even I, do not know myself that well. The only person I had as a reference to normal would be the general that had trained me in the order. Marian Cross. I shuddered at the name as it reminded me of all the things he made me do to even to get to the point that I am now. But I always thought of him as childish and crude in personality. Would that be considered normal? I would guess it is as it seemed to be the only point of reference I had.

"You gotta be kidding me, Mikk. What the fuck are we even doing going into the bloody town for anyway?" He simply laughed while he got up from where he sat and patted my shoulder.

"Wow, you're so cruel to me, shounen...Referring me to only my last name? How very impersonal of you. My poor shounen is already cursing like a sailor. Where have the manners I taught him before went?" I slapped his hand off of my shoulder, stopping him from condescending me.

"You haven't taught me anything...Get your hands off." He laughed once more at my actions.

"Oh! You forgot to take off your blindfold," he voiced out, causing me to flinch slightly. The blindfold was something I wore constantly to hide the scars on my eye. It was also the mark of the black lamb in the order. The lamb that defies the order once and was punished. But it was certainly not normal for a person to wear a black blindfold in public. I had felt something coming closer and closer towards my face before I quickly grab at it. It was his wrist.

"What are you doing?," I asked defensively once more.

"Calm down, shounen. I'm simply taking it off for you since you forgot to. You can't really go out wearing that. People tend to talk about things they don't understand nor see." I contemplated this before I released his wrist and nodded for him to continue. Once it was off, I could see the light hitting me from behind my eyelid. As I slowly opened my eyes, I winced at the light hitting it. I was considered legally blind, as Sheril stated. For me, I could still make out shapes and sizes, but everything was blurry and foggy for me. I could make out a silhouette of a person in front of me. I couldn't make out the color that well as all the color blurred against each other, but I could tell that it was mostly dark. "Wow...this is the first time I got to look at your eyes closely...They're beautiful. Like a silvery unrefined diamonds."

"Was that suppose to be an insult or compliment, Mikk?" He uncrouched and laughed loudly.

"Why, it was a compliment, shounen. I'm simply a gentleman and wouldn't say such crude insult."

"You do realize I'm a male right? Isn't compliments meant for females?"

"Now that's where you're mistaken. Humans are selfish creatures, female or male. They seek attention and praise. Meaning both sexes can receive compliments."

"I see...But why say unrefined? Doesn't that have a negative connotation to it?"

"Unrefined is not bad, especially for diamonds as it is the beauty underneath that matters. But usually yes, if used in another context, it can have a negative meaning to it. But your eyes doesn't have that shine to it like many people do. I'm guessing it's because of your condition. It's like you can see, but probably not clearly enough to tell things apart. Am I right?" I nodded. I didn't know that's what it looked like and it was the first time anyone had described what it looked like to me. It certainly didn't look like that when I was younger. I touched my stomach lightly. What is this feeling? It's like something was irritating it from the inside with a feather. I didn't like this feeling. It felt like I was vulnerable. I dismissed such feeling quickly and turn my attention back toward Tyki. From what I could tell as he walked away from me, he was a good half a feet taller than me and was lean, yet had a larger frame than I. I frowned as I thought he would have the upper advantage if he and I ever fought, but size doesn't mean everything. But it does mean that it would be harder to put him down one day...

"So, Mikk...What about you? What is your infamous disguise you were boasting about this whole time?"

"Wait and see, shounen," he voiced out in an irritating, matter of tone. I tilted my head in questioning.

"That's a bit impossible for me...," I annoyingly replied.


End file.
